With every friend that gets engaged and every friend who is taken off the market, I'm starting to believe that Dating is less about skill and more than anything about timing. Take for example, every couple that's gotten married after only dating a matter of months. Two people at the right time in their lives, that want the same thing, and just happened to decide to have settled at the very moment they met each other.
Ok, maybe that was a TAD bit cynical but you get the idea.
Dating is about timing. Another example --- Guy has a girlfriend --- can't make a move on guy then or you'll be labeled a "homewrecker". Okay, now guy breaks up with girlfriend --- you can swoop in for the kill, right? Wrong. Depending on the seriousness of the relationship, guy might need a year to get out of the "fuck-everything-that-moves-rebound-phase." Add a couple months of random flings , a year or two of failed quasi-relationships and a receding hairline and it's time - he's FINALLY ready to settle down.
As I continue on my journey of this perilous dating world, may I add that I'd feel safer walking naked in a jungle full of predators than I do on the dating scene, hell, at least then my downfall would be swift and relatively painless, I see more and more everyday just how important timing is to EVERYTHING.
Within three months I've made friends with three engaged couples, which is both a good and a very bad thing. Good in the sense that it gives you something to aspire to, bad in the sense that when you're the fifth wheel on a double fiance' date, you feel you have "single and miserable" carved on your forehead.
I might be miserable but I'm not...nevermind.
Back to timing. Since I have nothing else better to do on weeknights, I sometimes spend what fleeting minutes I have when I'm not jumping out of airplanes or doing something to aid in my deathwish to think about how couples ended up together and how they may or may not work.
Hell, it's easier to analyze others then yourself right?
I see very often in couples its either one of two scenarios:
(a) man meets girl, man falls head over heels for girl, they date, he proposes then marriage. This of course is every womans DREAM scenario. Timing-wise its a whirlwind romance. But the question is...Does it have staying power? And ever more so, is it for REAL?
(b) man meets girl, man doesnt want commitment, they date casually, girl waits for guy to one day want a commitment (months/years later), guy concedes, they get engaged and married. Doesn't exactly sound like a fairy tale does it? But unfortunately I see this more often than not.
Again, Dating is a mixture of timing and a waiting game.
You have wait for someone to fall in your lap, and when the time is right, make a move.
Wow, it never ceases to astound me that everyday I sound more and more like a black widow.
Sigh, we can all have goals, right?
Dating is about timing --- it's about picking up on the signals what tell you where a man is in his life.
And accepting that if he says "I just want to have fun and not have a relationship" then he probably means it. Until he turns 40 and loses all his hair.
What I think it comes down to really is patience...Are you willing to wait for a man to hit the time in his life that he wants to settle down? To which I say, er, look at Hugh Hefner... Or do you want to keep your odds higher and play the field --- looking for one you see teetering on the edge of "commitment ready"?
It's a touch choice to make.
Which is why I guess I'm already spindeling my web.
What? I can't be a widow --- I'm not even married yet.
But dont worry, I have plenty of time.
Cheers
- 1000
