Yep, That's Me...Pondering...As I write this my hands are literally shaking, my eyes are welled with tears and my heart hangs heavy --- a feeling I've come to know rather well over the course of the last four years. In the past three weeks I've laid to rest and completely severed every relationship that has haunted me for the last year.
And now I know, deep in my gut, it's time for me to go.
The thought about ending the blog has always terrified me since I first started it --- the thought of not being able to share my stories --- hell, and not to get feedback I thought would make me go insane from lack of a creative outlet.
Which is why I thank god that I'm happy to announce that despite my movie that met its untimely end due to this lovely economy, the book that I have just been commissioned to write will stand a fairer chance.
So that being said, my story is not over...it's just...changed.
Over the past four years I've grown from a self-righteous girl who had dreams of ending her celibate reign with only the man she loved to a weary woman with a scarred heart but still hope that there is something more in this world.
In four years I've cried, I've screamed and quite frankly I grew up.
I used to think I knew the rules for everything. Everyone could be categorized, fit into a box and packed away.
Now I know the only rule is that there are no rules.
All you can do is live.
And that's exactly what I intend on doing.
I had always imagined my last blog would be this big spectacle where I write the best entry I've ever written. But you know what, lets make this last blog like the last episode of Sopranos...Lets pretend that this blog will go on...you know, I'm sitting at the diner, those people walk in and when the screen goes black I--
Okay, kidding.
In all seriousness, there are so many things to say and the fact that it's 4:30 in the morning is not helping me to think of the right words.
Thank you...Thank you for being my readers...my confidants...and most importantly, my friends.
And dont worry, I'm not gone forever, it's just the new chapter has begun. My celibate journey has ended, but life for me has just started.
I love you guys.
(Insert Journey Song Here)
::Screen Cuts to Black::
And now I know, deep in my gut, it's time for me to go.
The thought about ending the blog has always terrified me since I first started it --- the thought of not being able to share my stories --- hell, and not to get feedback I thought would make me go insane from lack of a creative outlet.
Which is why I thank god that I'm happy to announce that despite my movie that met its untimely end due to this lovely economy, the book that I have just been commissioned to write will stand a fairer chance.
So that being said, my story is not over...it's just...changed.
Over the past four years I've grown from a self-righteous girl who had dreams of ending her celibate reign with only the man she loved to a weary woman with a scarred heart but still hope that there is something more in this world.
In four years I've cried, I've screamed and quite frankly I grew up.
I used to think I knew the rules for everything. Everyone could be categorized, fit into a box and packed away.
Now I know the only rule is that there are no rules.
All you can do is live.
And that's exactly what I intend on doing.
I had always imagined my last blog would be this big spectacle where I write the best entry I've ever written. But you know what, lets make this last blog like the last episode of Sopranos...Lets pretend that this blog will go on...you know, I'm sitting at the diner, those people walk in and when the screen goes black I--
Okay, kidding.
In all seriousness, there are so many things to say and the fact that it's 4:30 in the morning is not helping me to think of the right words.
Thank you...Thank you for being my readers...my confidants...and most importantly, my friends.
And dont worry, I'm not gone forever, it's just the new chapter has begun. My celibate journey has ended, but life for me has just started.
I love you guys.
(Insert Journey Song Here)
::Screen Cuts to Black::
